One time I was sitting with Carol on her side-porch and we were listening to the birds outside near the bird feeders. Carol is able to name each bird by their song, it’s remarkable. Anyway, she looked at me and said “I know you don’t care much for birds, but isn’t it nice to just relax and listen to them?”
I responded “Nope. Absolutely not, I hate birds. Haven’t you seen that Hitchcock movie?”
Carol then turned her head, and as she closed her eyes and resumed listening to the birds she smiled and said “shut up, Seth”.
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Seth, and I am the boyfriend of Carol’s middle child, Susanna. I have a super power, its called Perfect Comedic Timing. And as we all know, every super power has an antithesis and for me that is Poor Situational Awareness. So I say the perfect joke at the perfect time in the worst possible moment. This also flows into other areas of my life. Like when I use famous quotes, inappropriately . An example would be if I do something incredibly stupid, I will say ‘well…when in Rome’. Both Susie and Carol are always quick to say “No Seth, you’re using that quote wrong”. But one quote that I always used, again at times undeserving, is from Nietzsche. Even the greatest, have moments of fatigue. I know we can all agree on two things. The first thing is, Carol is easily one of the greatest. The second thing is, I definitely nailed that quote this time.
As I get to know people, I try to sum them up using a single word. It’s a little thing I do as a challenge for myself. For David, it was the word Father. He embodied what it is to earn that word. He is loved and respected by his children. He taught important lessons and he knew the answers to everything…it was kind of annoying. I have a word for a few other people too. For Sara the word I chose is wisdom. I see her passing the wisdom she has both learned and created to her children, her siblings and even a little to me.
Mike’s word is beard….sorry that’s a typo. Mike’s word is love. He emanates love in all directions and to everyone he comes in contact with. In his career, his family and especially in his fiancée. And everyone reflects that love back to him…how could we not?
Susie’s word is beauty. Her beautiful soul touches my every waking thought and infects me with a passion and desire to be a better person. Plus she’s incredibly hot.
And as I’ve gotten to know Carol, I have found a single word to describe her and that word is magnanimous. Carol is magnanimous, in that she is a very graceful winner and in life, she does win. She has three responsible, intelligent, and successful children and three radiant, smart and charming grandchildren…so far. She will have more grandchildren, and while she may never get to meet them, they will learn all about our Sweet Carol.
Carol succeeds in everything she does, even in her failures. In her passing she succeeds, still, with us, by engaging us to live with the lessons she teaches us, with the memories she shares with us, with the kindness she shows us, and with the generosity she gives us.
Carol shows me what patience is. Susie and I have put a large portion of our life on hold to focus on Carol and David, and we have no regrets. We couldn’t imagine doing things differently. Oh and just to clarify, when I say Susie and I, what I really mean to say is, Susie put her life on hold. She was there for her parents every step of the way. Often at her own emotional and physical expense. I just watched and gave her as much support as I could.
Carol shows me what fortitude is. I met Carol about a year before she was diagnosed with cancer. So I’ve been privileged to enter her life during the worst time of her life. I watched her as she made a decision to fill her body with poison so she can have more time with her family. That’s kind of badass if you think about it. She held on for so long, and at times even thrived. Part of me feels like she did this just to not inconvenience the rest of us.
Carol shows me what unconditional love is. Over the years of seeing everything unfold as it did, it made me realize this. She does things for so many of us and expects nothing in return. With Carol, I could see the endless possibilities for my own life and in creating my own family with Susie. I could see how she is with each of her children and know what a mother’s love is. She has a way of perfectly balancing the line between being her kids best friend, while also being their mother and inspiration. She is truly, awe inspiring.
Carol shows me what generosity is. We all have countless stories of how she gives, from paying for dinner, to helping someone kickstart their career, to helping someone find their way. She never stops giving to each of us.
In writing this speech I made it a point to keep my thoughts and words in the present tense, because Carol is still present in all of us and she always will be. Getting to know Carol was a true blessing and her passing was like watching the worlds most beautiful sunset… at noon. While we grieve for the loss of our Sweet friend, mother, sister and mentor we do not move on without her, we move on with her.
If you would like to watch the memorial service for Carol Morse you can find it below.
Carol Morse Memorial Service
Speech excerpt.
That was a wonderful speech you gave, Seth. I’m glad you have a recording of it. Believe that it will be viewed many times in the years to come.